Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Workin' It Wednesday

Today is the second Wednesday link up!

The second Wednesday of every month I link up with Shay from Mix and Match Mama and Erika from A Little Bit of Everything to talk about where we are workin' it in various aspects of our lives.  Last month we shared with you our New Year's Goals.  I had a list a mile long and to be honest, I am kinda sucking at them.  I am going to do better, starting today :)

Today I am sharing with you how I keep my marriage strong.
Here is a snapshot of all the other Workin' It Wednesday posts we will be doing in the future.

I honestly don't understand how my husband can put up with me sometimes.  However, I think the reason is that he said something like this the morning of our wedding.

I think the part that makes our marriage strong is that we are the exact opposite.  They say that opposites attract right?

Our situation is so very unique.  I only see my husband half of a year.  He works on a drill ship and is currently in South Korea.  We don't think this is at all the reason why we are so happy together although many people wish they were me and had my situation.  They feel like if they had more time apart they would be happier.  I love my husband and our marriage is rock solid but it isn't because he isn't around.  

Matt works 4 weeks on 4 weeks off.  Although his time away is actually a bit more because he travels on his hitch off.  Plus he always is doing some sort of training for the company where he needs to fly somewhere... We have been lucky in the past and gone with him when he goes somewhere warm like Florida.  After South Korea he is flying to Canada for 10 days so we will stay home :)

A lot of people ask how we do it.  How can I deal with him being gone so long?  How do I take care of the kids, and the house, the dogs, basically our entire life while he is on the ship and for starters I am pretty awesome at being organized and also because this is all we've ever known.  This life is all my kids have ever known.  We make our marriage work because we love each other.  We love our family.  We love our life and our time spent together.

When Matt is home from the ship he is HOME... H O M E!  He doesn't need to do anything on his hitch home.  So we get to travel, spent week days doing everything people do on the weekends which cuts back on a lot interacting with crowds.  

During the summer we are barely home.  We are always traveling and doing fun things.  We are out on the boat every single day.  We go to the beach, get ice cream randomly on a Tuesday afternoon.  We just live our schedule as one big vacation for an entire month which is totally awesome.

We certainly will be taking full advantage of this while the boys aren't in school.  We are able to just pick up and grab our bags and take off for a few days without worrying about taking time off from work.

I also think part of the reason that I am so able to deal with his schedule is because we both went to the same school.  We both went through training that prepared us for this type of life.  I know what it is like.  I understand the sacrifice.  He spends half his life away to give us everything he never had.  That is one powerful statement to say about someone and I can honestly say it about my husband and it makes me so proud.  

Part of or actually probably all of the reason our  marriage works so well is because my husband is the easiest going guy you'll ever meet.  I make almost every single decision in the home that is in with regard to decorating, our schedules, what we are eating, etc etc..  and he is so chill he just goes with it.  If I tell him that all of a sudden I am going to do this crazy diet he will do it with me.  If I tell him I want to completely change our house decor, redo every room, update the bathrooms, buy all new furniture, paint the walls, --- he just does it.  

I don't want that to come off as him being "whipped" as some may say because he so is not.  He just truly enjoys seeing me happy.  

As I mentioned before my husband is gone 6 months a year so when he is home that is his time to do things he truly enjoys and one of the things I also get a lot is, how can you let your husband go on vacation with his friends, he just got home from work?!?!?!  

Matt loves riding dirt bikes and he has the opportunity to do this wherever he wants and I want him to be happy.  I know someday I will be going on these trips with him as my two boys will certainly be following in his foot steps.  So when he wants to go to Utah for 3 weeks to ride his dirt bike with his friends I am all for it.  I love supporting him doing what he loves. 

I love that he is so passionate about something that he will follow his dream and do it.  That is something that I admire and hope that my boys will someday emulate.  

Also, a huge part of marriage- you need to have trust.  I trust him immensely.  He loves his family.  He loves his boys and his life with us and I never ever for a second doubt that.  So yes it is hard having him away but not because I am worried about him but more because I miss him and find joy in life that I wish to share with him. 

I don't think there really is a secret to making a marriage work.  It will either work because you are right for each other and you love each other or it won't work.  Our marriage is strong because we truly love one another and I would do anything for him.  That is something you just feel inside.  

I also think it works because he is patient and I am not.
He is calm and I am not.
He is collected and I am not.
He is level headed and I am not.
He is reasonable and I am not.

I know a lot changes in a marriage when you have kids and I am so thankful that the best thing we probably do together is parent.  We both get it.  We both are on the same page all of the time.  As you know kids change so much and he does miss quite a bit when he is away.

He would always come home and say "OK, so what is the routine this time"  He knew the kids sleep routines would change as they grow, he knew that I would find the magic touch to get Evan to sleep, or the right swaddle for Ryan to feel secure.  

He would roll with it.  He wouldn't try and act all "I got this" because as a new mom you are learning you are figuring this little tiny human out.  You are learning what they like, what they don't like.. the best way to bounce them to sleep, the best position to lay... all the little things you learn at 2am... 

Matt would make sure to re learn all the steps so he can be the best dad and boy oh boy, he is the best..  

I am not saying it is all roses over here because we definitely argue and have our words but honestly, and don't tell him this.. most of the time we are arguing is because he is right.  But like I mentioned above... He is calm, collected, level headed and reasonable... I am not.  

We are a work in progress and we will always work towards living a happy life together and bending the rules to make it happen.  

1 comment:

  1. so agree on many of your points! my husband is always very patient and im not so its a great balance when i need to slow down and hes there to help ha. Hope you'll stop by mine and let me know what you think!


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